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One minute you're high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you're frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don't understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games. Behavioral extremes indicate a power play is being employed. Once we have the ability to see hot and cold for what it is, we're less likely to suffer its negative effects.These mistakes are the cause of a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain between partners.It is also the most common reason a person calls an Ask Mars Venus coach.In fact, for a lot of women this is a natural part of a relationship too. For a man, having seasons of drift is totally normal even if he is madly in love with you.Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable and distance is sometimes a natural response to that fear of closeness.They're not sorting out their last breakup, and they're not swamped at work. The hot/cold scenario typifies much more than a lack of certainty on a lover's part. You quickly find yourself craving more of this delicious new feeling.

The problem with not being exclusive is that when a man does go cold, there is always the crippling fear this will be the end.

It starts with a few missed calls and you think, “No big deal, he’s just busy!

The answer is somewhat obvious but counter-intuitive- let him have some space.

Contact is reciprocal, time is made to see each other, and forward movement is evident. The hot phase is designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral, where you'll later be harnessed. Your partner begins to pull away making you long for their previous attention.

Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication... This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner's reactions are not.




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