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Be forwarned that children can develop close attachments quickly so you don’t want your children to develop a meaningful relationship with your man until you know he’s the one and sticking around.

A Pushcart Prize nominee for her work at Brain, Child Magazine, Mattern is a freelance writer, playwright and single mama of two daughters.

We talk about the value that lies in remembering the good that came before. "Tell him we can go out for hot chocolate and I'm going to check him out for you. He sounds like he has potential." Miss 7 wants to tell him about princess dresses and tiaras and her favorite game, Apples to Apples. "But it's OK to want to have somebody special," said Miss 9.

We mourn the loss of who we once were as a family, but we talk about the possibility that, someday, our family will be bigger, full of more love than we could have imagined. "Even grownups get lonely sometimes." "It's more like our puzzle is good, but you can get an extra pack to build onto the puzzle, make it bigger with more colors," said Miss 7, excitedly.

I want my daughters to know I keep my eyes wide open and that I'm careful with my affections, because anyone I choose must be worthy of all three of us. We talk in a simple, straightforward way they can understand. It is as nerve-wracking as meeting the parents used to be, if not more. "I'd like to have a partner, but I don't need one, if that makes sense," I said, over dinner the other week. It would have to be the very, very rightest person for us all." "Yeah.

I want them to know I am a woman, as well, and that I am open to the possibility of finding someone special and lovely and true, someone who may stay in our lives.

They can pick up on your emotions and when you’re telling untruths.

It’s best to be honest about your feelings regarding bringing another potential partner into your life.

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When I have my own undergraduate students read about the “true self” research, many are shocked by the results, having believed that the Internet was rife with dishonesty.

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