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Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really cannot let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know.She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: waiting for her married lover to call, to come meet her, to share some precious time together.So your love is not a glass-half-full kind of guy—maybe even a bit of a grump (though he likes to say he is simply a realist).Being an optimist yourself, you often play the role of cheerleader.Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know. The needs of the many (namely, his family) will always outweigh your needs.

You want to keep the peace and avoid his complaints, so you stay home.

Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.

The love of your life just might be a married man." Being part of any couple can be challenging and unpredictable, as we all know.

But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.

The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy.

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