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In the decades we’ve been involved in dispensing dating advice, we've seen a number of marriage-minded men who – though well-developed in intellect, character, scholarship and other interests – display a degree of under-developed social skills.Often when a woman has a first date with such a man, this leaves her disappointed and uninterested in a second date.I found them to be a little silly, maybe too western?As I read them I was reminded of a book I was given when I was in a promising relationship called The Hard Questions: 100 Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do.” by Susan Piver. I found that it spoke to me almost perfectly as she voiced the different concerns she personally had that brought her to discuss very real, often difficult, questions with the man she loves before she felt ready to marry him.We’re hoping to take some of that pressure off of you with some tips on where to drink & where to eat.

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Aishes Lapides also offers mentoring, counseling, and other services.

The cool thing is that the questions in the study are catalysts for the of a relationship (which by definition means it isn’t necessarily going to go anywhere) and the questions in the book are for a relationship that is already committed or is very much leaning towards commitment.

Both groups of questions can also be used repeatedly in a relationship as the relationship and the individuals evolve, in order to continue to be in tune with each other.

Wow, we have so much in common…) ———- Am I the only one who’s a liiiittle sick of all the small talk that is requisite in dating? Last week I read an article in the NY Times about a woman who, with a man she was on a first date with, decided to try to fall in love by going through a list of tested questions that get supposedly progressively more probing and exposing.

This normally, or ideally, happens gradually over time but in this case, it is given a catalyst – structure that helps it happen in a more accelerated way.




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NORD gratefully acknowledges Adam Mezoff, MD, Professor of Pediatrics, Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center and Scott Pentiuk MD, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center, for assistance in the preparation of this report.