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You can support your boyfriend by encouraging him to spend time with his son and letting his son express the hurt feelings he has over the loss of his parents' relationship.I am afraid that if this conversation does not take place, the son will always have a reason to not attend his father's wedding.My boyfriend tells me to seek employment in the area HE lives.I say that is not reasonable because I do not live in his area, hence a catch-22 situation. After we marry, he has asked that I sell my home and put the money toward his residence (he had to take out a large amount to pay off his ex). One possible reason your boyfriend's son does not like you may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with his parent's divorce.Dear Dating Coach: I have been dating a 60 man for one and a half years. We are discussing marriage, but we have two problems: (1) his son (mid thirties) disapproves of me.In fact, we were scheduled to marry three times and had to cancel each time because my boyfriend's son "couldn't get the time off." He will not allow me into his home. I am unemployed and looking for work in the area where I live.There are actually two things to consider here – his children, and your potential children. As a man gets older, it becomes increasingly likely that he will have fathered some children along the way.These children will take up his time, whether they live with him or he spends his weekends with them.

You might be fine with this, but it’s important to consider carefully. The last thing you should do is enter the relationship thinking ‘I’ll change his mind’ – you most probably won’t and it’s a huge gamble.Intuitively you want to be there to guide the youth in his life, but he needs to be able to come to you when he feels it’s necessary. Children are not stupid and your authenticity will win the hearts of everyone anyway. However, participating in their world is the gateway to bonding in both worlds.5. What mom wouldn’t love to have you include their offspring in activities?If you try to encroach his space it will certainly end badly as kids can sometimes put up walls, or create distance, which keeps them from bonding with you.2. Kids can pick up on negativity, and really…why be with someone if you cannot give the best you have to offer? I always include the love of my life’s son because a.) I enjoy his company, and b.) I don’t want mom to feel like her son isn’t welcome—when in fact he is welcome.6.As long as your boyfriend is unwilling to marry you without his son in attendance, your plans for a wedding will be out of your reach.I am not a financial advisor or a lawyer so I cannot advise you on the risks facing you should you remarry.




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