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Recently I was e-mailed, via Match.com, by an attractive woman (to the extent that profile pictures can be trusted, anyway) named Kathleen.

I love that name, and her profile made her sound like someone I’d be interested in talking to a bit more, so I replied. I love skiing, although I’m not great at it and I haven’t been on the hill since I annihilated my knees a few years back.

Welcome to a world of ruthless cost-benefit analysis, charm, and grandiosity. C., I used an escalator that was closed, and a Metro worker tried to shame me about it. An image sprang to mind: my hands wrapped around his neck, my thumbs digging deep into his throat, his life slipping away under my unrelenting grasp. But I know I had been caught in a megalomaniacal fantasy. I am generally free of entangling and irrational emotions.

I stood there for a moment, letting my rage reach that decision-making part of my brain, and I suddenly became filled with a sense of calm purpose. I fought to keep my peripheral vision in focus, hyperaware of everything around me, trying to predict the movement of the crowd.

The site claims to have over five million Active Members, four million Sugar Babies, and one million Sugar Daddies and Mommas from 139 countries.

But I wasn’t her dad, and she was an adult woman, even if I was twice her age. In the end, I told her she could keep the cat, but she better take care of it properly.We exchanged a couple of e-mails and I was thinking that maybe I’d like to meet her in person. I’d love to get back into it, though, but haven’t so far because I hate doing things alone. I have historically hit periods when, as a result of where I lived or the structure of my daily life, I had a hard time meeting women, but I’ve never had trouble getting dates when I was actually around eligible women.I knew as I hit the send button that I’d never hear from her again. I tried to play it straight, using my profile to tell the wonderful women of the 5280 who I was as best I could – what I do for a living, what I do for fun, what my interests are, and so forth. My experience, though, has begun to make me feel like an untouchable.Users set up accounts complete with photos, bios, backgrounds, interests— you know, all the normal things that one would put on a dating site.Until you scroll down someone’s profile and find their net worth and income or find specifics on what sort of financial arrangements they’re looking for.

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